


Only a Glow

by broadwait



Category: The Derp Crew (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Hiking, Jealousy, Just bros on a hike, M/M, Making Out, like briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 05:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11479356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadwait/pseuds/broadwait
Summary: Ze tried to convince himself that this was just two bros being dudes, going on a hike for a few days. Alone. In the woods. Really a fantastic choice on his part.





	Only a Glow

**Author's Note:**

> Title from St. Clarity by the Paper Kites. Okay so Jess just like, doesn't exist in this world. lmao I wrote this for a friend. Also, not to be a bitter bitch but why does using the html for italics only work on ao3 like 30% of the time?? Lmao, anyway, hope you like it, kudos and comments always welcome!

Ze exited the airport and pulled out his phone, sending a text off that he was leaving. He was visiting Chilled in New York for a bit in order to take a break from constantly making videos. It was only for a week, and it meant that he’d had to work harder to record videos to post while he was gone, but it was worth the effort. He hadn’t seen Chilled in so long, it was going to be so nice seeing him again. They didn’t have a definite plan to do anything yet, just a vague but promising thought to go hiking and maybe camp somewhere, but beyond that there had been next to no planning. Honestly, Ze kinda liked having the flexibility. Everything had been so stressful lately, the promise of being outside, however vague, was enough to make Ze excited.

Chilled was waiting for him in the airport parking garage, not wanting to go through the hassle of people and waiting inside. Ze didn’t mind really but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to give him shit about it. When he got to the level Chilled’s car was on, he spotted him leaning against the driver’s side door, scrolling through his phone. Chilled looked up as he got closer, a grin spreading on his face and Ze’s.

“Took you long enough,” Chilled said, pulling Ze into a hug.

“What, no ‘hey, how was your flight’?” Ze responded, hugging him back and then pulling away. Chilled had this dopey excited grin on his face and it might _maybe _be giving Ze major butterflies.__

__“Not for you buddy. Here, let me help you with those,” he said, grabbing some of Ze’s bags and helping to load them into the trunk of the car._ _

__As he settled into his seat, Ze took the moment to take in the feeling of being here with Chilled. He was so nervous and excited and just happy to see his best friend in person after so long. And if maybe all that happiness wasn’t solely platonic, well Chilled didn’t have to know everything._ _

__Besides their occasional jokes about zeroyalchaos, or calling each other “boyfriend” in passing, Ze hadn’t really seen any indication that Chilled reciprocated any of his feelings; the feelings Ze could currently feel trying to escape by making his heart beat out of his chest. Sure, there had been moments when they were skyping much too late and Chilled would say his name a certain way or give him a look that he couldn’t 100% decipher and the thought had passed through his mind that maybe, _maybe _there was something there. But Ze was not an objective viewer, and he knew that he always ended up seeing what he wanted to see. And then the moment would pass, and Ze would remember that this wasn’t some badly written fanfiction. This was his life. And in real life, Chilled would never have feelings for him. For right now though, he was with him, and that was enough. It had to be.___ _

____“So hey man, how are you? Everything go smoothly through the airport?” Chilled asked, pulling out and starting on his way home._ _ _ _

____“I’m pretty good! And you know, it went as smooth as it always does. TSA was just as gropey as ever,” Ze responded._ _ _ _

____“Oh yeah, well I guess that’s to be excepted. Oh hey, so I was looking for places to hike nearby and there’s some here and there but there’s always the Appalachian Trail just a little ways away that we could do for a few days, maybe a couple of overnights?”_ _ _ _

____“Oh yeah, that sounds great. So long as you promise not to get us eaten by bears or something,” Ze joked. Chilled laughed and Ze could feel the happiness bubbling inside him. For a while they didn’t talk, just sat there in a comfortable silence, broken occasionally for some odd question or bad joke. The radio played something soft and repetitive and because he was exhausted from the flight but also filled head to toe with warmth, Ze began to doze off._ _ _ _

____++++++_ _ _ _

____It had been a few days since Ze had gotten there and they were just about to ready to go on their hike. They’d decided on a certain area of the trail, one not too difficult and long enough that they’d probably have about 2 full days and nights on the trail. They’d picked up all the little things they’d needed but didn’t already have, and now it was just a matter of actually going there._ _ _ _

____The past 2 days had passed pleasantly and without incident. They’d been filming bits and pieces of what they’d been doing, but this trip wasn’t about youtube, it was about relaxing. So that’s what they did. They played video games and watched movies and ate more junk food than they should’ve considering that they were about to go hiking but neither of them cared. It was nice to unwind like this._ _ _ _

____So they were going camping in the mountains. They were on their way to the starting part of their hike._ _ _ _

____“We got bug spray?” Chilled asked as he drove_ _ _ _

____“Yeah.”_ _ _ _

____“Sunscreen?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes.”_ _ _ _

____“The dehydrated food thingies?”_ _ _ _

____“Yep.”_ _ _ _

____“And water purifying tablets?”_ _ _ _

____“ _Yes _Chilly Willy, we have everything. We checked like 3 times when we were packing it all in,” Ze teased___ _ _ _

______“ _Okay _Ze, I just want to make sure! I don’t want to be setting down for the night and realize that we forgot the tent,” Chilled responded.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well we definitely didn’t forget that one.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They were maybe 15 minutes from their trail start at this point. New York was really pretty. Ze really liked the East Coast. Not enough to live there someday but enough that he’d visit here frequently if he could, for the scenery if not for…..other things._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I love the East Coast baby mountains,” Ze said. Chilled chuckled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What do you mean?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“They’re so not tall but super long. Maine to Georgia.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah well, not every mountain can be as tall as those out west Ze, check your privilege.” They chuckled before falling into silence. When they arrived they unpacked quickly, slinging their packs over their shoulders and setting out. It was a little hot, but the trees provided adequate shade and there was a nice breeze flowing underneath their canopy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Did you hike a lot when you were younger Chilled?” Ze asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I mean, somewhat. Never super often, why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Just wondering. I’ve always liked the idea of hiking but I only went once or twice when I was younger.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, I can feel that buddy. I mean, the Appalachian Trail is right here and this is only maybe the third time I’ve been on it ever.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It’s just crazy, the stuff all around us that we want to do but never get around to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They talked on and off after that, joking around but not really maintaining a conversation. It was hard to with them constantly walking. But the day was nice and the air was warm and they had plenty of scenery around them to focus on during long silences._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________++++++_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They’d set up camp a little ways from the trail; far enough away that they wouldn’t be bothered by people but close enough that they could still see the path. The tent was a bit of a struggle, even between the two of them. The fire was less of a struggle. They had a decent makeshift fire pit, cleared of branches and leaves and surrounded by rocks they’d found. Ze snacked on a bag of dehydrated apple slices as they waited for their newly rehydrated meal to cook in the fire. Chilled was sitting on the opposite side of the fire, slumped over with his elbows on his knees. He was kinda staring into the flames, obviously off somewhere in his head. In this light he looked so contemplative, so serious. It was different from the ever joking guy Ze knew. This Chilled was tired and worn and lost in thought. Ze spoke._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey buddy, you okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Chilled snapped back to reality, looking up quickly. The fire flickered and left an orange glow on his startled face. It was almost like the flames were licking the bottom of his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Huh, what? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” he said, looking back down. “Just thinking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ze leaned back a bit and nodded. “Man, I’m so beat. We made good distance but I’m hungry as shit now.” Chilled let out a little huff of a laugh and smiled a bit before nodding._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, me too,” he responded. His eyes were half lidded as he gazed into the fire. Ze looked down at their food as it heated. It would be ready soon but not yet. Not yet. Above them, through the trees, the stars twinkled. Ze looked up_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Wow look at the sky right now,” his face a mild mix of awe and wonder. Chilled looked up too._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Geez, the moon is so bright. It really pretty though.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah,” Ze said. It came out a bit softer than he’d intended but he just let it hang in the air. Being out there with Chilled was a whole different experience. It was pressure free. They didn’t have to worry about making people laugh, they didn’t have to spend hours staring at a screen. Out here it was just them and conversation and the trail. And now these stars. It was the kind of contentment that Ze could probably live in the memory of for the rest of his life. He spoke, not looking at Chilled as he did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Do you think maybe that this is exactly where we’re supposed to be? Out here, under the stars like this. It almost feels like right here, right now, this is a place for _us _. I don’t know, maybe that’s stupid. It’s a nice thought though.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He could feel Chilled looking at him more than he could see him, but he heard Chilled’s quiet answer just the same._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah. Yeah, I understand completely.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The food was ready then, and they quickly made work of letting it cool and promptly eating all of it. They were so tired. They didn’t talk much as they cleaned up and put out their fire, but as they got into their sleeping bags Chilled turned to him suddenly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey Ze, I just want to say that I’m really glad you came.” A small electric lantern sat between them on the ground of the tent, illuminating Chilled’s face in a dull white light. His expression was soft, softer than Ze had seen it in a long time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Me too Chilled,” he responded.  
Chilled was still looking at Ze as if looking for the words to say what he wanted to but not quite finding them. He sighed a bit before a quick smile graced his face. “Goodnight Ze.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Night Chilled.” He turned off the lantern_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The ground was hard and the night was cold but Ze still slept just as soundly as if he were still back at Chilled’s place, a dreamless sleep falling over him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________++++++_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They started off early the next morning, cleaning up camp quickly after a dry breakfast and then setting out again. The trail got rockier and steeper from this point on. Rather quickly, Ze found himself short of breath, his face getting more red than normal. He stopped for a second and called to Chilled who was just ahead of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey Chilled, do mind if we stop for a quick minute?” Chilled turned and started back to Ze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah sure buddy.” They both took a long swig of their water bottles. “So how you liking these baby mountains Ze?” Chilled teased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Shut up you ass, I haven’t been hiking in forever,” he responded. There was a noise from behind them on the path and they both turned to look._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________From around the bend in the path were a group of 3 hikers heading towards them. There were two men and a woman, all carrying packs much larger than the ones Ze and Chilled had brought. They looked tired and sweaty and quite a bit dirty, like they’d been hiking for a while._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey Chilled, let's move to the side for them,” Ze suggested. They moved over to the right to let the hikers pass but to their surprise, the hikers slowed down and pulled up to a stop right near them. They nodded towards Ze and Chilled before also taking a drink from their water bottles. One of the men turned to them and spoke._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey, how are you guys?” He asked, a bit out of breath._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We’re fine, how are you?” Ze responded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“As well as we can be,” the woman said, extending a hand. “I’m Lauren.” Chilled took it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m Anthony, and this is Steven.” Ze took her hand and shook it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Nice to meet you,” He said smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m Jack,” said the taller of the two men._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m Andy, but people on the trail call me Camel,” the other said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Why?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Well, when you’ve been on the trail a while sometimes you end up with a trail name from the other hikers. I was always the one to get everyone water, so they ended up calling me Camel,” he responded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh that’s really cool, how long have you guys been hiking?” Chilled asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“About five months,” Lauren responded, looking over to her friends, who nodded in affirmation. “Started in Georgia.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Wow, that’s incredible,” Ze said, impressed. Jack waved it off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We just really like hiking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They ended up talking for a bit before walking again, all five of them. They talked about the people they’d met on the trail and the different kinds of animals they’d seen and all the kinds of stories that fascinated Ze and Chilled. They kept up with each other relatively, and eventually decided to settle down to lunch together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They all sat down on a collection of large rocks and pulled out their food. Chilled and Ze were eating trail mix but the other three were eating some kind of protein bar. After a minute, Jack turned towards Ze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“So I never asked where you were from,” he said, between bites of his bar._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh, I’m from California,” Ze responded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Oh that’s cool. I’ve never been that far west before but I’ve always wanted to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah, it’s nice. Hot though,” Ze added. Jack nodded, a small smile on his face. They all talked for a bit, about everything and nothing really. Maybe Ze was imagining it, but it felt like Jack would glance at him a lot, even though he wasn’t talking. And maybe Ze was just seeing things but was Jack sitting just a tad closer than before? No one else seemed to notice but there was a distinct possibility that he really was getting closer, and leaning in a bit more when Ze talked, and laughing loudly at every joke Ze made, no matter how bad._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It finally become impossible to ignore when Jack was basically at his side, laughing enough that he grabbed Ze’s shoulder for support. It wasn’t really unpleasant, just unexpected, and Ze had to fight the urge to flinch. Jack let go of him eventually, but there was this little smile that he kept on his face throughout lunch that Ze knew, deep down, was made because of him. It was a strange feeling, one that he didn’t know how to respond to._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________When they’d finished lunch they’d trekked on a bit, but before long they had reached the part of the path where the trail split, one continuing on til Maine, the other taking them towards a trail exit. They all paused for a minute, saying their brief goodbyes to each other. While Chilled and Lauren were talking, Andy offered to run and get water for everyone from a spring nearby before they parted ways. Jack started talking to Ze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hey Steven, it was great meeting you,” he said, casually reaching out and touching Ze’s arm. His hand lingered for a second before falling. “I hope our paths cross again someday.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ze stuttered out a response, “Yeah, yeah totally, that would be a cool thing to happen, haha,” he rambled awkwardly. His face flushed a little and he turned to look at Chilled, who seemed to be trying very hard to pretend that he was still listening to Lauren and very much not looking at Ze and Jack. Jack took a few steps over to Lauren, just as Andy returned with all their bottles in his arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“We all set?” Jack asked, picking up his pack from the ground and putting it back on his shoulders._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah, we should be good. It was nice meeting you both, have fun on the rest of your hike!” Andy said, waving a bit as he turned to leave._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They all exchanged quick yells of goodbye as they started away in opposite directions. Ze turned towards Chilled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Well they were nice,” he said as they walked. Chilled was uncharacteristically quiet and monotone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Yeah, real nice.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________There was something there, beneath the surface of Chilled’s words that he wasn’t saying, emotions he wasn’t expressing, but Ze didn’t really know if now was the best time to try and confront them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Come on, if we get far enough today we should be able to make it to the overlook before the sunsets,” Ze said before gaining up a short distance ahead of Chilled. From behind him he could hear a small huff as Chilled began to follow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________++++++_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The overlook ended up being a disturbingly long hike up from the base of the trail, and took quite a bit of sweat and air for them to get up. There was nearly no one there, only a couple of people, standing near the edge and taking pictures. They looked at each other. Chilled was sweaty and red faced and breathing pretty heavily from the hike, but even so he was smiling. The sun was hitting him just right and the grin on his face was so cute, and everything about him was so mesmerizing and _fuck _. Ze felt a pang of emotion in his chest. It was something like sadness, something like affection, but mostly just pure _want _. Ze wanted to take him to his favorite restaurants. He wanted to fall asleep with Chilled in his arms. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair and caress his cheek and cuddle with him during thunderstorms. He wanted to grab Chilled right now and kiss him breathless. He wanted everything, but he could have absolutely none of it and it hurt so fucking badly. He tore his eyes away from Chilled, trying to stop his face from betraying anything he was feeling. He walked towards the edge of the rocks._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The people began to disperse as the sun dipped lower in the sky, but Chilled and Ze stayed. They didn’t say much, just swung their legs over the rock ledge and watched the sunset. They sat there, watching the sun slip over the horizon, the sky filling with pinks and oranges, the clouds beyond them glowing with shape and color. In the distance were farms and houses and rolling and hills and it was beautiful. Everything was beautiful._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Wow,” Ze said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Wow,” Chilled nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Ze glanced over at Chilled. His eyes were fixed solely on the horizon but there was a soft look on his face, his profile silhouetted by the intensity of the colors around him. Ze’s heart was beating out of his chest, so full of pure contentment and love. He looked back ahead of him, and slowly sneaked his hand over next to Chilled’s. He laid his pinky over Chilled’s, and when he didn’t pull away, he moved more of his hand over the other’s. Out of the corner of his eye, Ze could see him look down at their hands, could see him look at Ze for just the slightest of moments. Ze didn’t look back at him, though he was sure that the heat rising on his neck was plainly apparent. Chilled looked forward again, but he shifted their hands so that his was resting just atop Ze’s, joining them together with the loosest of clutches. They didn’t say anything, and as the sun went down, they were able to enjoy the coolness of the evening, and the warmth of each other’s hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The next morning, Ze woke up to an empty tent. They had stopped holding hands when they’d gotten up to set up camp near the shelter. They’d barely said anything for the rest of the night, except to coordinate the setting up of the tent in the semi darkness. They’d said goodnight, from their sleeping bags that were just a little closer than before. Ze’s thoughts had been racing ever since they’d left the overlook, and by morning all that had changed was now he’d had slightly more sleep than before. He looked around the tent and sighed, getting out of his sleeping bag and getting dressed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He was about to unzip the tent flap and head out but as he was reaching for the zipper, someone started to unzip it from the other side. He ended up face to face with a startled Chilled, half hunched over as he was coming in._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Ze moved over and let him enter. No one said anything but Chilled zipped the flap back up and went over to his stuff. Ze sat near the exit looking at him. Chilled fiddled with some stuff aimlessly, his back turned to the other. Ze let out a quiet sigh, ready to leave the tent. If there was one thing he wanted, it wasn’t this. It wasn’t this lack of confrontation. He could deal with rejection, but this silence was killing him. Chilled turned around, came over to Ze and grabbed the hand that was currently on the zipper. Ze looked up, just long enough to catch a glimpse of his face before Chilled leaned in and kissed him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________It was soft, hesitant. Chilled lowered Ze’s hand from where is was suspended in the air till it was back at his side. He pulled a way, just a bit, enough to look Ze in the eyes as if to say _“is this okay?” _Ze wrapped his hands around the back of Chilled’s neck and kissed him, deeper, more urgently. Chilled slowly moved his hands up to cradle Ze’s face, one hand then snaking up the back of his neck and sinking into his hair. Ze leaned back onto his sleeping bag, letting Chilled move so he was just above him. They broke away from each other, breathless and flushed. Chilled positioned himself so that he was essentially laying on Ze, their bodies pressed together. He put his forehead to Ze’s and closed his eyes.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Steven,” He breathed softly. Ze placed a hand on the other man’s cheek and started rubbing gentle circles with the pad of his thumb._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Hey Anthony,” he whispered back. He leaned up and initiated another kiss, mouth moving softly against Chilled’s. He was so warm inside, a part of him absolutely ecstatic that finally, _finally _, he was kissing Chilled, and a part of him just relishing in the feeling of being pressed to him, his body, his lips, everything. Kissing Chilled in real life was 200% better than anything Ze could have imagined. His lips were soft and his skin was smooth and it felt so good to be weighed down by him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________They stayed like that for a bit, trading lazy kisses and running their fingers through the others hair. They still had a little bit of hiking left to do that day but then they could go home and relax and watch movies and cuddle and honestly Ze couldn’t think of a better way to spend the rest of his trip, because nothing could be better than being wrapped in Chilled’s arms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________++++++_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Chilled held both of Ze’s hands in his own as they stood at the entrance to airport security. Ze looked Chilled in the eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I’ll call you when I land okay?” Ze said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“You better,” Chilled responded, giving his hands a little squeeze. “I’ll miss you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I’ll miss you too buddy,” Ze responded before leaning up and kissing Chilled softly. He pulled away, gave his hands a squeeze and pulled Chilled in for a hug. When they finally parted, Ze offered a quick smile before picking up his luggage. “I’ll see you later.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He turned and walked away, the promise of a future where he and Chilled were a thing, a steady thing, filling him with hope and warmth. He couldn’t wait to get home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
